And here I go, risking it all….

Last night I was in bed, trying to get to sleep. I had had some solid God time that afternoon, and I was feeling good.  I read a lot, I journalled a lot, and I just talked a lot to my number One. It was indeed a good day. And sometimes I get the feeling that I need to share them, but yesterday, I just didn’t feel like it. It was my day, a quiet one, personal one, and I wanted to keep it that way. Ha, good one.

So. As I tried relentlessly to “will” myself to sleep, what song kept popping into my head? I’ll tell you. But first I have something to say. I may risk public humiliation for this, so you better feel pretty loved to know that I’m doing this for you. Yes, YOU, the one sitting behind your screen, only God knows in which country, sipping a latte/tea/coffee-of-some-sort/or hey, even a beer. Last night, when the lights were all out, the house was quiet, and my mind wouldn’t quit, all I heard was… Justin Bieber.

Phew. Got that out.

So. Why am I telling you this? Is it possible that God used a 17 year old musically gifted child (yes, I do think he’s talented), to give me a message? Actually, I do, I really do. Because this is what He was saying to me through it all…

“You know you love me, I know you care. Just shout whenever, and I’ll be there. You are my love, you are my heart, and we will never, ever, ever be apart. Are we an item? Girl, quit playing. We’re just friends? What are you saying? Said there’s another, and looked right in my eyes. My first love broke my heart for the first time.”

Now, to you, you could read a young boy, calling out to his girl. And until now, that’s all I heard too. But look deeper. I couldn’t get the song out of my head, and I can’t even remember the last time I heard it. So, in the frustration of my ah!-I-want-to-sleep-now moment, I asked God “Why, WHY, can’t I get this song out of my head??” And it’s like He sang the song right to me. Read those lyrics over, as if God was saying them to you.

Doesn’t sound so crazy now, does it?

Well, maybe it does. But I found peace in it. Because, yes, there are many days where God is not my first love. And how many times do we look back and say “I wonder how badly I hurt His heart when I did/said/thought that?” Yes, I’ll admit, it seems like a pretty far fetched idea, and trust me, I didn’t want to post it. But I know its something good to hear. And Justin goes on and protests, but I know God’s next lyric would be different. Because, yes, His first love broke His heart, but you know what? Our God’s good. He’s a forgiver. He doesn’t hold grudges, or dangle our shortfalls above our heads. He longs for the day when we’re together, fully, again. What a glorious day. Reminds me of the last verse in “Amazing Grace”, –when we’ve been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun. There’s no less days to sing God’s praise, then when we’d first begun.– I don’t know about you, but that, that sounds like bliss. Pure bliss.

My encouragement to you today: be ready to hear the voice of God. It’s fulfilling. It’s beautiful. And sometimes, it’s just a bit weird. But hey, who says God doesn’t have a sense of humour?

Much, much, much love,

With Strength that is not my own, Sam