Ask my at any given point what I am, and you’re bound to get a variety of answers. I am happy. I am satisfied. I am confused. I am feeling blessed. I am nervous. I am a photographer. I am a writer. I am a free spirit. I am uncommitted. I am lonely. I am present. And on the other hand, it’s humorous because you could ask me what I am at any time, and I could say ” I don’t know today.”
And even though I sound like I’m dealing with a million personalities, I AM all these things. And sometimes it gets exhausting trying to sort them all out, only presenting certain sides of myself to certain people. But then I think about it, and I smile. Because I’m (almost) always myself, and even though I sometimes have to sensor who that is, I am accepted. I am loved. I am depended on, which makes me stable, makes me feel needed, and even a bit important. And so I have a question. A question for you.
What do you need to hear?
I enjoy this online way of sharing my heart. I love writing, as it’s become a major part of my story. But I don’t do this online thing for myself. Just this morning I was thinking about how there hasn’t been a day in the past 9 months where I haven’t written something. (With the exception of –almost– dying while hiking through PNG.) Some days it’s 7 journal pages, sometimes I barely get through my second sentence. Maybe I’m super charged because of my recent Francis Chan stint, or maybe feeling like giving back intentionally because of Donald Miller. Either way, you get the last say. Let me know. Comment here. These comments I’ll keep to myself, and I’ll write about them. Tell me about your hearts, tell me what you care about, what effects your days the most, and what you love about life. Ask me your questions, tell me your struggles. And somewhere along the lines, you’ll get a post, just for you. (Secretively, of course!)
So, to continue the theme. Today, I am sick. But I am also clothed, fed, comfortable, surrounded by family, dreaming of Georgia and the Passion 2012 conference in January. (By the way, if you for some reason want to sponsor me to go, let’s chat!) I am looking forward to the last few weddings of the year, excited about the new church I’ve been visiting, and slowly learning more about the way God guides.
So what about you? What are you?
With Strength that is not my own, Sam