So there’s a lot rushing around this brain, but then again what’s new? I’m still fighting to get my joy back- although I haven’t yet figured out the best attack plan. I know it involves a lot of prayer and Scripture, a bit of being brutally honest with a few go-to people, and a whole lot of surrender. Most of this is uncomfortable or difficult- but joy is worth fighting for. God is worth fighting for. I am worth fighting for.
On another note, I’m dreaming-again- of Kona. 3 things keep being confirmed to me- Kona, Australia and Africa- and I believe in that order, as well. Over the past, say, 3 months, I’ve been *set* on Kona, then *not sure*, then *surrendered*, and *open to anything*. And I’m back to set. I’m learning my habits, my rituals of taking in what God’s said, weighing them with rationale, logic and my feelings, and then sorting them through. After I’ve done all that and mucked around with His initial plans, I announce them, talk too much about them, feel unsettled, and then realize- what He said in the first place is what I need to run with. And that is this: Jump. Take a leap of faith. Hear me out on this, trust me for this step, then together we’ll work on the next one.
There are a few reasons why I believe Kona is the right next step for me, but the main one is my lack of planning. Previously, when I felt God calling me to action, I felt the need to plan, budget, make myself busy in order to avoid procrastination, the usual. But I learned a rough, needed lesson back in Townsville, one that was a complete 180 to what I was raised to believe. I won’t go into detail, but the whole “God helps those who help themselves” theory has been erased from my thought process. When I think about moving to Hawaii next January, I have peace, joy, excitement and a lot of expectation, good expectation. Yes, I realize there will be a certain amount of pain-leaving yet again, being absent in important events in friendships and family. But I know it will be a blessed time. One that I look forward to- but one I refuse to idolize.
I am here. I am needed here, even if only for a short time. This year is as important as last, and as important as next. I have a specific role to play that no one else can do. People are placed in my life to guide me, encourage me, and help me- and I will not waste this time. I’ve been praying recently that God fills me up- just enough to make me realize just how weak I am without Him. (No sane person would ask for more than that, right?)
So my life seems to be a series of comings and goings, home and abroad. What about you? It’s easy for me to identify the seasons of my life, but what do yours look like? How can you take action with God in.this.season to make sure HE is glorified above all else? What would your life look like if your primary goal was to boast about Christ? I know my life would change- it would definitely be a bit more uncomfortable, and I might have a few less friends. But to me “living is for Christ, and to die is gain” Phil.1.21
Definitely not the usual, but then again, I’m not your usual girl. Thanks for reading. Leave some love-I need it.
With Strength that is not my own, Sam