“Our greatest fear should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”
Francis Chan, Crazy Love
I was out this weekend with a bunch of friends, some of whom I haven’t seen since being back home. While out, the topic of transitions came up. He is facing transition from university back home, and I am facing transition from one home to another. Transitions are not always easy or clean cut, but life has slowly been getting back on track. I have found a job, I have started volunteering at the youth centre in town, and there’s talk of a car coming into my life! Things are starting to get exciting around here! And for once, I am able to look at transition in a beautiful light. Instead of a disconnect, a tearing apart, I see new opportunities, room for growth, freedom to shine the light.
This quote, by Francis Chan, it’s highlighted and underlined in my book. I read “Crazy Love” about 6 months before going to Australia, and never thought the line would make such an impact on me. But how true is it? I underlined it as a nice thought, something empowering, something to remember. But no matter how eloquently it’s put, the message is still the same. What you are doing today will be graded on a scale of some sort. What you do with your life has a certain amount of importance. And, while being in this beautifully frustrating time of transition, I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I’m at a point where any door is open, my options are limitless. I could work, I could go to school, I could go start something new in a new country, I could jump back into YWAM. So many options, all of which are good things to do. But, as always, I’m not content with just doing “good” things, I want to do exactly what good thing God wants me to do.
So, I searched, and still am searching. Constantly, God’s told me “just be”, be where you are, live where you live, get out of your comfort zone. And yesterday I went for a walk. My spiritual walk with God has turned into a literal walk, a time where I can just talk to Him, bring everything to Him, and just listen. Isaiah 41v1 really resonates with my soul, “Listen in silence before me, you lands beyond the sea.” I’ve felt the conviction before of asking for an answer, but not really listening for it, and don’t wish to experience it again. So I asked for the next step, I told Him I was ready to handle it, and He threw me a curve ball.
So, I’m not really at the spot where I’m ready to disclose what’s next, because I need to sort out a few details. I also have learned that as quickly as God can set you in one direction, He can spin you around and make you head straight for something else. And that’s where the quote from Francis Chan comes in. I want my life to be about doing something that matters, making a difference, even if it’s tiny, and I know God has big plans for me. It’s up to me to make sure that at the end of it all, I can look back and see that I made a difference, whether that’s here in Canada, or out somewhere else. But looking back on what He brought me through on YWAM, I know there’s still so much for me to learn. As a beautiful friend of mine said to me “Its like the journey isn’t finished yet, and this is the time in between.” So, transition or not, this is the in between time. And I want to thank you all for making this in between time so meaningful. I appreciate hearing what’s on each and every heart, and it definitely makes me feel so loved and blessed to be here in this time.
With Strength that is not my own, Sam