I listened to this song this morning. I’ve heard it before. It’s not a new song, it’s not super popular, but it was something that I needed to hear. I wanted to share it with you, because I was blessed by it. And yes, I am very proud of myself for learning how to link this into my blog.. proof that I’m learning!
I am so incredibly blessed. Sometimes I don’t take the time to think about that. Everyday God is opening doors for me, revealing things that were “hidden” from sight before, giving me knowledge and wisdom even though I don’t deserve it. This isn’t to say that I go about life without struggle though. After a good talk with my friend Sean, I realized that I tend to put up a good front. My blogs seem to end on a positive note, any Facebook status is (generally) uplifting, expressing thankfulness, gratefulness. Now. I’m not going to bore you all and unload my heart. I won’t do that because it’s not wise, I mean, this is still the internet. But what I would like to do is tell you how I cope, how I deal. How do I figure out my life, when I don’t know where it’s headed?
Simply put, I don’t. When it comes to making big decisions, I usually run far, fast, and with no direction in mind. Good thing I have a God that won’t relent, won’t give up, and won’t let me self destruct to the point of no return. As you should be able to tell by my massive blog posts (which I’m working on), I learn when I write. The beautiful thing about blogging is that I have to sensor what I write to you. As much as I love you all, I have to use discernment in knowing how far is too far. But when I journal, it’s a different story. No one reads it. No one knows what’s in it. And no one will. It’s my space to be honest, brutally sometimes. Its eloquent at times, and really messy and ugly at other times. Sometimes I write 2 times a day, sometimes I don’t write for 2 weeks. But when I’m stressed, you can guarantee I’m writing somewhere. It works well for me. But this really cool thing has been happening in the last little bit, and it makes me excited. Recently, God has been using other people to point out my weaknesses. At first it was hard to take. I mean, no one wants to be told where they’re messing up, over and over and over again. But, trying to succumb to a humble heart, I asked God to teach me through it, and man, has this girl received.
You. In the long run, you teach me. You help me figure out my messes. God uses YOU, whether you know it or not. In your word of encouragement, in your quick little text. In your questions that you trust me enough to answer, in your smile in the middle of a heated conversation. When I can’t figure out me, YOU help. Yes, I run, and just like Jonah, God is wherever I run. He catches me, pulls me back with His strong and able hands, but He’s using YOU.
Where do you run? Who’s doorstep do you find yourself standing on when you can’t figure it out? Who is the person you talk to when you’re ashamed, when you’re hurt, when you’re confused, or even when you’re just lonely? What is the way you figure out you? I can pretty much say from experience that I learn more about myself when I’m trying to learn more about God. Hopefully that’s the same for you.
I don’t know where you’re at. I don’t know if you and I talk on a regular basis. I don’t know if you even know who I am. But I do know that the friendships I have now are helping me become WHO I need to be. Can you say the same? I pray to God that you can.
Where you go I’ll go.Where you stay I’ll stay. I’m taking those words to heart. Join me in the next few months as I uncover exactly what that means for this 21 year old heart. I promise you it’s not going to be easy. I promise I’m pretty messed up, and might hear things incorrectly. I even promise I’ll end up making my “adventure” sound better than it actually might be. But I promise to take you with me, to keep you informed, and to give just as much as I’ve been given.
“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” Romans 5v8 NIV
With Strength that is not my own, Sam